Well now, hold on. Are the aliens going to eat the person we pick?
Yeah if they communicate by dissecting the person’s brain and then don’t put them back together… fuck can we pick all 4???
If it had to be one I think I’d send Musk. Bill Gates is kind of a spent force, he’s in his “be philanthropic to make up for all the shady shit I did”, so I think he’s done most of the harm he’s going to do. Bezos is a close second pick, but I think he’s less actively bonkers than Musk. Zuckerberg I think is an alien anyway so they probably wouldn’t take him.
Gates’s philanthropy is doing harm, though. His foundation funds school choice initiatives and lobbied against COVID vaccine patent wavers for poor countries. He was also a good friend of Jeffrey Epstein.
Gates knows it. He is secretly buying up farmland. He is a reset guy. He wants to kill off the poor and live in a palace in New zealand.
Fair enough, I think I’d still send Musk first though because he’s also the most annoying one.
IIRC, the reason was that it wouldn’t bring covid vaccines to poor countries in a timely fashion, which would likely result in delays and more death. Pragmatic.
Honestly, a lot of people write shit about Gates to try to discredit him, and lots of people lap it up. He’s a bogeyman.
Funnily enough, he was the devil incarnate for this Linux user back in the 90s… nowadays he often comes across as the only adult in the room.
IIRC, the reason was that it wouldn’t bring covid vaccines to poor countries in a timely fashion, which would likely result in delays and more death. Pragmatic.
Are you doing a bit? This is exactly what happened because there weren’t any patent waivers granted at the peak of the pandemic. Low income countries still have devastatingly low vaccination rates as a result.
You are still assuming that some third party/parties could/would magic a cheap effective vaccine clone into existence at the time it was most needed and most profitable to do otherwise.
Also, the perceived value of vaccination for immediate personal health has waned now that most people have caught covid, so I expect the number of recent vaccination shots to be consistently lower throughout the world.
No. You don’t get to weasel your way out of defending your central argument. You said:
IIRC, the reason was that it wouldn’t bring covid vaccines to poor countries in a timely fashion, which would likely result in delays and more death. Pragmatic.
Defending patent exclusivity will bring covid vaccines to poor countries in a timely fashion. This will save lives. Very pragmatic. You said that.
So, why are first dose vaccination rates in poorer countries still less than half of the full vaccination rate in wealthy nations? It’s because no timely vaccine deployment occurred. Delays and death were not prevented. Gates’ supposed magnanimous goal failed spectacularly by any reasonable measure. The only thing he protected was billions in profits at the expense of human lives.
You also don’t understand what a patent waiver even means:
You are still assuming that some third party/parties could/would magic a cheap effective vaccine clone into existence at the time it was most needed and most profitable to do otherwise.
A patent doesn’t mean, “Sorry folks! We cured this disease, so nobody else can make their own cure! Too bad, so sad!” It means they’ve published how to make something, but can legally bar anybody from reproducing their work. It’s an instruction manual you aren’t allowed to follow, to protect their profits. A patent waiver removes that restriction.
If you do understand that, and are instead arguing that the global South is just too stupid to be able to follow instructions, well… then we fundamentally disagree on the foundations of ethics and humanity, and I don’t want to ever speak with you again.
holy shit youre a fucking ghoul
Death to America
“be philanthropic to make up for all the shady shit I did”
Bullshit. His “philanthropy” is part taking money out of one pocket and putting it into the other, and part eugenics and dubious medical experimentation upon poor people in impoverished countries and further expanding his fossil fuel investment portfolio and fucking over public education.
i think it would be funny to pick zuck so that the aliens just completely misunderstand what humans are like
we made first contact wrong - as a joke
His family’s finally here to bring him home
I nominate Joe Rogan because him doing a live podcast with aliens on their spaceship would be the funniest final hour of our lives
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Especially considering he’s the leader of the most populous country so would best represent the maximum amount of humans
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Shit this is bad. I recommend suspending all volcel police operation in China. Save us seeseepee
The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.
نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.
False alarm, but good looking out
Defund the vocel police
Zuck
I want to impress the aliens by showing them our advanced android technology
This is playing a dangerous game. What if it turns out that he was originally made by different aliens?
Then we can shame them, letting them know that literally everyone on earth knows he’s an Android, so they did a shitty job
He can impress them with some smoked meats.
All of these are great choices because they might make the aliens go mad and start shooting
Any civilization advanced enough to travel the cosmos must surely be communist so I’m rooting for the aliens
If nothing else, they understand who’s really in charge
It should be zucc, he should be better at speaking with his own kind
“Ah, we see now contact was already made”
which one would you pick though
, for these hilarious reasons:
- He’s clearly the worst of the four
- The other snubbed three will be BIG MAD. See #1
- Elon will screw this up.
- He might screw it up by asking his fans!
Personally, none. I’d pick Trump
Zuck. He would negotiate a deal with those aliens. We would live, but we would have to stop using toilets, instead mailing our shit in plastic bags to some kind of central processing plant. Then a few years down the line we would find out that the aliens didn’t ask for this and it was a clause added into the deal by Zuckerberg.
Zuck, he’d fit in just fine
Obviously we should send
Witnessing technological wonders centuries beyond our abilities
Zuckerberg.
I’d hope that the aliens would view him as alien enough to assume that we’d already been invaded and either 1) no need to re invade us for fear of starting war with some unknown alien civilization or 2) liberate us from the rest of the rich people who look more like people than zuck.
Id just represent humanity honestly im pretty cool
The aliens would think zuck is one of them
Or me and the aliens would team up and investigate zucks butthole in a scientific way
this got weirdly specific
Elon Musk because he would fuck things up most blatantly and the aliens deserve to know what they’re getting into.