I can’t afford to not even in my own home

I didn’t even realize there were people who just lived unmasked. How?

Idk if it’s because I’ve unmasked more or if I’ve just continued to unravel or have been stuck in autistic burnout for years but I feel the same or worse. Idk if I actually unmask though.

I still mask at grocery stores & mass transportation and don’t think I’ll ever stop. I was literally getting sick every two months before the pandemic, my hygiene has improved massively with masking/washing hands/having indoor vs. outdoor clothes, and I don’t want to go back. I do some higher risk stuff like group gym classes unmasked and haven’t been fucked over yet, somewhat improbably. I’ve still managed to keep working from home (although that might change to hybrid in the new year) so we’ll see how I decide to navigate that.

I’ve pissed a lot of people off and burned a lot of bridges, but not without reason. I don’t suffer bullshit anymore. Im sure my reputation isn’t great now, but I’ve got my little social circle and the people who love me love me deeply.

What do you mean after?

I grew up isolated and with zero friends. I never really had people to talk to so I never learned to mask as much? I also never got diagnosed or anyone paid enough attention to consider I was autistic. I’ve struggled my whole life and was oblivious to it too. I remember bawling my eyes out at 16 to my mother asking her why I had no friends. (She stayed silent and juat watched me) But I just came off weird and strange. Not know social cues or the proper etiquette and what not. I’d be polite but blunt too. But this is me in hindsight, I only found out a few years back and I know being the way I was hindered me a lot. I still don’t mask, I still get exhausted in social situations. I try to be more aware of it and I try to be careful with how I come across but people still treat me like I’m spare furniture if there’s more than two people. I become invisible when out too. It can be very lonely.

Is that what you’re supposed to do? I didn’t really think that was an option.

I’ve just recently figured out that what’s been happening to me for the past several years is this “autistic burnout”, so I suppose my lack of ability and intolerance of stressors has been the result of this involuntary “unmasking”. On one hand I have less responsibilities and have calmer days without meltdowns, but on the other hand I feel crushingly guilty that I can’t contribute to the household financially like I’m expected to. I feel like everyone around me sees me as a failure or just a lazy bum, and they will never understand.

I have this fear that everyone is going to get sick of me and give me some kind of ultimatum I can’t fulfill, and then kick me out and leave me homeless. Nobody has indicated anything like that yet, but I worry it’s just a matter of time before me staying at home all day, needing rides for everything, and always needing money starts to get old. I’m currently desperately trying to figure out alternative ways to contribute so they won’t start to hate me. Maybe I could start knitting everybody sweaters? Babysitting my nephew? Cooking dinner?

Reading this post and all of the comments I’m entirely confused. SoCal LA, OC, SD area has been 95% unmasked for around a year or more. Infact the only people I see wearing masks anymore stick out. I assumed this was the case everywhere. Where are you all that people are still majority masked?

I was always atrocious at talking, so it hasn’t damaged my social standing much. Or maybe I just don’t stim that visibly. Or maybe I just never masked much, I couldn’t do eye contact, facial expressions, or anything beyond a monotone-ish in person. Or maybe I just don’t socialise enough in person, because I rarely go outside & do much of my social stuff online!

It’s hard being your 100% true unfiltered self all the time, but I’ve found it really rewarding. I find it’s a useful filter for weird neurotypicals + socialising with other autistic & neurodiverse people has been great fun! I am lucky though, I live in my own home with just my wife & have no need to go outside beyond work and groceries basically. I speak from a position of (relative) privilege.

Worthy to note also that I still throw the mask up for talking to cashiers and cabbies and stuff, and when people talk to me at my job it’s an active effort not to mask. Unmasking is pretty hard.

It’s great! But also all my friends are other queer ND people. I don’t really give a shit what NT people think. Very liberating

@GaveUp@hexbear.net, due to no fault of your own, people are getting confused. Can you edit the text to explain this isn’t referring to COVID. Thanks.

Idk if anyone fully unmasks. I only do it in safe spaces like my home or with friends I trust.

I want to think this is neuordivergent unmasking, but OP talks about literal COVID unmasking. Like, if you’re referring to COVID unmasking, please don’t spread COVID misinformation.