How the hell is buying condoms awkward?
“Price check on extra small condoms!”
I would go into the pet section and buy some collars and leashes too. Then I’d smile at the cashier and say I’m having a party. And I’d buy like…10 packs of condoms along with them, maybe some lube too
the problem is whatever you throw in the cart with it is now evaluated in context of the condoms.
Seriously, you should also buy lube.
I usually throw some condoms in my cart to make the ski mask, duct tape and shovel seem less embarrassing
I um, let me have one of those porno magazines, large box of condoms, a bottle of Old Harper, couple of those panty shields, and some illegal fireworks, and one of those disposable enemas. Eh, make it two.
I once bought a dog collar and leash, a pack of darts, and a child’s car seat at the same time. The Target cashier looked at me hard before I put it together, then we both cracked up.
I once bought a six pack of beer, some vaseline, a cucumber and rubber gloves. On a Friday afternoon. Didn’t think about it until I got a very weird look from the cashier.
I can’t put it together either
I don’t get it. A baby is going to throw darts at a tied-up dog?
Nah, leashed up baby as darts practice. The car seat is just to ensure the dartboard gets there safely.
Baby on board!
The free market wants what it wants I guess.
Go to a line with your preferred sex and give em a wink
Went to the pharmacy to get a box of condoms and they asked if I wanted a bag. I said “no thanks, I’ll just turn out the lights.”
Take my wife, please!
That’s crazy. I literally heard this is exact joke today on a short; I think Warzone and dude was downed and his OPP said tell me a joke and if I laugh I’m let you live.
Wild to me that’s shit like this happens. Like never heard the joke then twice in a day.
Maybe that was me.
That would be crazier. Was it you?
Genius
For here or to go?
Buy a can of Pringles and a sponge to make it less awkward. The cashier will assume that you’re going to have a nice time with someone, have a shower afterwards and then eat some chips.
I dont think Pringles can legally be called chips
Crisps.
what business does anyone have bringing a sponge into a shower?
I used to try to make it as awkward as possible. Condoms, lube, a bottle of wine, and whatever phallic fruit I could find.
- Condoms
- Lube
- Wine
- Metal coat hangers
- Duct tape
- Bandaids
- Turkey baster
- Teen Magazine
You have to follow up any looks or double takes with something exra.
“Oh don’t worry. That’s for after.” wiggles eyebrows
I’d also be weirded if the condoms were in the eggs isle
Nothing weird about making sure people don’t accidentally fertilise their eggs
I think that was a potential “something else” aisle.
Cashier over the store PA system: … ummmm … price check … price check … umm… yeah … in condoms … ribbed … cherry flavor … costumer says they were on sale … price check
Cashier trying to scan box of condoms: … beep … boop … beep … boop … [over PA system again] … ummm … supervisor … can I get a supervisor
meanwhile line of people is getting longer behind you
You: … hey just forget it … I don’t need the condoms … I’ll just pay for the lube and shovel
Cashier: … it’s already scanned as cheddar cheese and I need to clear it … I need a manager to do that
Line is getting longer behind you and people are mumbling and grumbling
Cashier: … supervisor … um … yeah … supervisor … check out #4 … price correction for condoms please … supervisor
Supervisor who is younger than the cashier arrives: … what is it Richard? did you mommy bring the wrong coupons again? …
Richard the cashier: … that was just the one time and it was only for 50 cents off dog food … and besides that was two years ago before they demoted you from store manager …
Line of people shifts to new cashier that just opened next to Richard … people are grumbling and saying things …
Supervisor: … OK … What is it? …
Richard: … yeah this guy was buying this stuff and condoms and it came out as cheddar cheese for $14.99 and I need to clear it but it won’t let me
You: … hey, I’m in a hurry here and I really don’t need the condoms, just forget it OK?
Thank you for taking your time to write this, I appreciate it.
We gotta have a dogelore
There’s one called dogeposting, but it’s not very active.
First time I bought condoms, I also bought goldfish crackers.
Such Weird. Much Awkward.
