Cloud was a very funny marketing buzzword that started with a real meaning and then devolved into “connects to the Internet.” Cloud based things didn’t even have to do anything with the Internet for marketing wonks to pretend like being connected to the cloud meant something. Great innovation folks just throw a wifi receiver in it and call it “The Cloud” we did it wow such innovation.
AI is rapidly descending into the same thing. There was a time when “AI” was being used to refer to actual machine learning algorithms that were good enough to fool the layperson into thinking they were smart. Nowadays the word AI just means “can compute something.” Does it accept an input and make a decision on that input? Call it AI! My calculator is an AI! An ebook is AI enabled because it automatically changes the page based on how long I spent on the last page! My fridge has AI because it tells me when I accidentally left it open! Wow we just put extremely basic algorithms into everything and now it’s AI! We did it we revolutionized technology forever!
Anyway now it’s time for the prolific posters of Hexbear to flex your Nostradamus muscles. What’s the next Big Dumb Tech Marketing Buzzword going to be and why? Lay it on us.
Mods/enhancements: is going to start with just the neuralink bullshit but eventually if it has a strap for you to wrap around your bicep they will call it a mod
I think this is a really good prediction
Thank you
Post-cloud.
We’re going go push SaaS shit that is just OnPrem as a feature.
I believe you could call it edge computing
Goon-Cluster - we keep the hardware under near max load all the time.
MY SERVER IS ABOUT TO CRAAAAASSSHHH
Oh God this hurts me
Real.
“enterprise” software is usually just paying more for self hosting
A bit that, but also a lot about CONTROL.
You can get weird and wild and no vendor can stop you.
I miss when futuristic words had things like “tron” “ator” as suffixes.
Turn up the Robotron Oscillator, the signal frequency is modulating!
this and putting an arbitrary large numbers at the end
introducing the Omnitron 5000™!
I miss that too. Remember when Super Soakers did that? Good times!
I also miss that at least it was fun
“Quantum” but while technically impressive it is in reality extremely limited.
Clean Blockchain TechnologyCertified “Green” blockchain and
a la a dozen Fukushima’s with a design catastrophic failure risk of 1 in 500years on paper, but in reality it’s 1 in 100. Over 12 plants it’s 1 in 8.Space Shuttle tier risk calculation
I guarantee this already exists
Maybe cloud gaming again. There have been attempts pretty recently, which is a ding against it, but it’s a real business model that at least Microsoft is well-positioned for, and it fulfills the primary goal of being a justification for building data centers and filling them with GPUs.
I’m not very good at predicting these though. When I try to come up with reasons to fill a data center full of GPUs I inevitably fixate on things that might actually be useful to someone, which isn’t the strat.
Cloud gaming is the ultimate DRM which is why it’s actually being pushed. Cloud-exclusive games also make game preservation impossible which is a bonus for the art-hating vampires running the industry.
just wait for cloud OS
:tux-shining:
Yeah when I say “real business model” I of course mean “turns something you can own into a subscription service where you rent from an unaccountable landlord.”
But I really think using a data center full of GPUs is important as well, because it’s a thing that the various tech companies can argue they have a competitive advantage (pile of capital) at.
I think you’re right. I’ve heard a lot of talk about cloud gaming from clueless boomers in industry.
SkyBidet - keeping your cloud portal clean and secure using streaming AI
I’ve been seeing a few mentions of GenAI (short for generative), so I peedict that the new term will be Genie. Like a catchall for all of the magical things that tech is supposed to make better or possible.
SkyBidet now features Genie technology to make your every wish a reality! Just Make A Wish into your device, and our sophisticated personalized Genie will use its awesome powers to grant your desire.
Basically the logical conclusion of magical thinking about technology and
“mycelial networked synthetic intuition”
You know this sounds a bit like a paper that was recently published
Filaments of the Slime Mold Cosmic Web and How They Affect Galaxy Evolution
all of you are not concept-pilled enough and it shows smh my head
‘quantum’ is too easy. with tech trends as they are now, I’m going to go with either ‘distributed’, ‘hybrid’, or ‘federation’
quantum is too easy, but you know we’re right
quantum is like a half-decade or more out IMO. the ‘next buzzword’ has been quantum for a good while. I have not seen enough instances where you have basic shit like the talktotransformer/ai dungeon-esque solid publicized foundations of that branch heralding the marketeer horsemen. maybe in like two or more buzzwords. currently it’s nothing notable. if I’m wrong I’m wrong but this is a matter of physicality and i just think techbros/SV simply do not know ball for that
ping me when the diminishing returns dam breaks on hardmaxxing transformer/diffusion models’ solo capabilities and every salesman and their mark starts ranting and raving about hybrid models. I’m calling it now, this will be to GenAI what NFTs/smart contracts were to crypto
we fixed hallucinations! we just needed to hardcode sensitive responses and redirect computation requests to prebuilt scripts!no shit sherlock glad it took you a lake and a half
It’s going to be Blockchain again. Probably with distributed or decentralization attached
When y’all weren’t paying attention, bitcoin reached a new high and it’s over 60k again. Half the recruiters reaching out to me represent some dumb Blockchain startup
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Quantum computing maybe
in the quantum cloud
haptic scrotum
The way things are going I’ll say…Rock. It’s a rock. But techbros can
it up:You can have a hitting rock, a throwing rock, a sitting rock! Rocks to start fire, rocks to contain fire! There’s no end to the potential of Rock! So get in on the ground floor, they’re not making any more
Hot rock make boat go.
Oh no, boat hit rock. Save us, Celine Dion!
We can try 3D printers again since they didn’t become wonder machines the first time around. Only now they do everything like build bridges or make food.
I think this is still in progress
