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fossilesque@mander.xyzM to Science Memes@mander.xyzEnglish · 7 months ago

GRIZZLODILE

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GRIZZLODILE

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fossilesque@mander.xyzM to Science Memes@mander.xyzEnglish · 7 months ago
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  • saltesc@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    Not to alarm anyone, but unless you’re doing the 100m in around 11s or less, current large crocodiles are still faster than you. But if you’re fit enough to keep the speed going, you should outlast them over short enough distance.

    And if you can’t do any of that, well you’ll have to run lateral to it and hope your agility out maneouvers them.

    • Artyom@lemm.ee
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      7 months ago

      Mythbusters tested whether it was better to zig zag or run straight away from a gator. Turns out, it doesn’t matter, gators won’t chase you.

      • Ricky Rigatoni@lemm.ee
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        7 months ago

        They’ve spent hundreds of millions of years sitting in lakes waiting for food to step in their mouths. They deserve to be called sloths more than actual sloths.

        • Swedneck
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          7 months ago

          the question is though, do they qualify for gluttony? on one hand they eat entire deer in one sitting, but on the other hand they do that like once a week.

      • Phoenix3875@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        Did they test it on alligators or really hungry alligators?

        • jackeryjoo@lemmy.world
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          deleted by creator

          • aubertlone@lemmy.world
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            7 months ago

            Dude you’re completely totally wrong about Pandas.

            Pandas only have fertility issues in captivity. Everything you described just now ONLY applies to pandas living in captivity

            They do just fine in the wild. At least, they

            The reason for their falling population numbers is their loss of habitat.

            And if I remember correctly they have one cub every two years, overall low rate of reproduction but that has more reproductive strategy than anything else.

            Suffice to say: pandas reproduce much more successfully in the wild than previously thought

        • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          Some Floridaman has. Apparently their jaws are really good for chomping down, but not that great for opening back up. So, you belly flop on the thing from behind, and it can’t really do a thing to you while you take some shoelaces and tie the gator’s jaws shut. At that point you can transfer the gator to a different swamp that isn’t inhabited by Floridaman. At least that’s the best description I have, of the technique I watched the guy use.

    • Owl@mander.xyz
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      7 months ago

      Or that you have the adequate weapons on you, the knowledge and physical ability to use them properly.

      • SomeAmateur@sh.itjust.works
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        7 months ago

        chootem inna hed nah boa!

    • misterundercoat@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      Serpentine!

  • Anticorp@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    Just so ya know, a regular modern day crocodile can also outrun you on land.

    • thann@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      7 months ago

      Yeah, but only because I’m American

    • Dicska@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      Yeah but I would easily beat him in hurdles.

      • Anticorp@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        This is true. Or running serpentine:

        • jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works
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          7 months ago

          “He only has a brain the size of a walnut.”

        • Agent641@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          What this from?

          • iamahab@feddit.org
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            7 months ago

            Should be Land of the Lost (2009) if Reverse Image Search isn’t failing me.

      • Agent641@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        Don’t even get me started on the pole vault

  • Agent641@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    A mighty steed!

    You cannot prove that humans didn’t ride these into battle.

  • jackeryjoo@lemmy.world
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    deleted by creator

    • Bytemeister@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      Flat solid land? Nah, person wins on any distance over a few feet.

      Through brush and marsh? Nobody beats the gator.

      • jackeryjoo@lemmy.world
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        deleted by creator

        • Bytemeister@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          You should try reading your source…

          “Experts say the American alligator’s top running speed clocks in at 11mph.”

          I a fat outta shape slouch, but I think in a life or death situation I could manage 11mph for a few minutes.

          Sure they can burst a good bit of speed, but that 20-30 ft sprint mostly comes from them lunging with all 4 legs and their tail as hard as they can and then maybe 1 or 2 more lunges and some scrabbling.

          It’s mainly a matter of weight and gait. They got stubby little side protruding legs and they weight a ton incomparison to their leg musculature. They can high walk for a good distance, and they can gallop, but only for a few steps.

        • Prehensile_cloaca @lemm.ee
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          7 months ago

          Usain Bolt’s fastest recorded speed is 27.79 mph.

          Unless you can dust the fastest man on Earth in a footrace, you’re gonna be a snack.

        • Cethin@lemmy.zip
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          7 months ago

          Yeah, humans are pretty slow compared to most animals. We’re good at long distance running, but nearly every animal out sprints us. I’m sure most of us have tried to catch an animal before. I think the only ones I’ve actually caught are turtles on land and snakes, which weren’t trying to run.

      • pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online
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        7 months ago

        Not a lot of people can run 11mph for any distance, though.

        • stoicmaverick@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          They can only do that for about half of one body length though. It’s not really a run, so much as a spring forward to surprise something with their murder mouth, and then pull it back into the water.

          • jackeryjoo@lemmy.world
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            deleted by creator

          • pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online
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            7 months ago

            No, that’s 30mph that they can only do for a few feet.

  • BaroqueInMind@lemmy.one
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    7 months ago

    Fun fact, the reason dragons appear in literally every culture that developed language came from people surviving horrific encounters with enormous crocodiles.

    • MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca
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      7 months ago

      Wow, that is fun!

      • Uruanna@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        But is that a fact

        (it’s not)

  • expatriado@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    hairy crocodile? artistic liberty?

    • lunarul@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      Looks like they photoshopped a crocodile onto a bear

      • expatriado@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        lol, i wasn’t paying attention clearly

  • Diplomjodler@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    Gee, I wonder why those died out.

    • LesserAbe@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      Yeah, who are they calling apex predator, take a look around.

      • pdxfed@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        More like ape-ex amirite

    • uservoid1@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      They failed at Fetch.

      • officermike@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        • superkret@feddit.org
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          7 months ago

          I bet there were humans trying to fuck them.

  • UraniumBlazer@lemm.ee
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    7 months ago

    Can I pet that dawgg???

    • DwjsrIyx@lemmynsfw.com
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      7 months ago

      Yes but only once

    • MagicShel@programming.dev
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      7 months ago

      Sure, li’l buddy! He’s coming quick, so I’m just going to run over there to take a picture.

    • TriPolarBearz@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      Yes, first you pet them on the outside, then you pet them on the inside.

  • Zip2@feddit.uk
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    7 months ago

    Steve Irwin would still have fed them.

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 🏆@yiffit.net
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    7 months ago

    Crocodoggo! 😍

  • blackwateropeth@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    Oh shit, sadam is that you?

    • DUMBASS@leminal.space
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      7 months ago

      Nah, just one if his body doubles.

  • Elgenzay@lemmy.ml
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    7 months ago

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quinkana

    Of course they lived in Australia

  • Num10ck@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    how is that not a dragon?

    • Brave Little Hitachi Wand@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      All those “dragon types” charts you see call this a drake. I don’t really get that because drakes are ducks.

      • PapaStevesy@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        But according to those charts, ducks are wyverns…

  • penguinsAreRapists@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    I miss r/hybrid animals

    • fossilesque@mander.xyzOPM
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      7 months ago

      Be the change you want to see.

      • penguinsAreRapists@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        I can barely take care of myself

  • g_g [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    7 months ago

    it looks so cute tho

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