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plinky [he/him]@hexbear.net to sports@hexbear.netEnglish · 1 month ago

Professional sport should be abolished

hexbear.net

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Professional sport should be abolished

hexbear.net

plinky [he/him]@hexbear.net to sports@hexbear.netEnglish · 1 month ago
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  • Infamousblt [any]@hexbear.net
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    1 month ago

    The real solution is to do all Olympic sports the way they used to be done, with hot sweaty naked bodies

    • PKMKII [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      1 month ago

      Ski jumpers gonna have to perfect the helicopter dick move to gain additional lift.

      • Infamousblt [any]@hexbear.net
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        1 month ago

        That’s fine that’s a body technique

      • NephewAlphaBravo [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        1 month ago

      • Carl [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        1 month ago

        In the cold though, so their junk is gonna be shrunk. Unless they add fluffers to the event.

        • CarbonConscious [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          1 month ago

          Or the event just becomes a contest of who really likes ski-jumping the most.

    • TerminalEncounter [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      1 month ago

      May the biggest dickus win 😌✨️

  • micnd90 [he/him,any]@hexbear.net
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    1 month ago

    Why not just abolish the stupid rule about skintight suit and go full on flying squirrel, I’d watch the competition

    • Le_Wokisme [they/them, undecided]@hexbear.net
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      1 month ago

      we have wingsuits, they’re not in the olympics and people die in them a lot

      • Keld [he/him, any]@hexbear.net
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        1 month ago

        I think we should just let these people go wild, sure, some will die, but lets see how far a human can really jump.

  • DasRav [any, any]@hexbear.net
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    1 month ago

    All doping should be legal and clearly laid out, so consumers can make informed decisions about their steroids and dick injections.

  • came_apart_at_Kmart [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 month ago

    what the hell, how is this real

  • FlakesBongler [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 month ago

    Inflating penises?

    What is this, my search history?

    Thanks folks, I’ll be here all day

  • KnilAdlez [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    1 month ago

    Wouldnt it be more effective to inflate your balls?

    • TerminalEncounter [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      1 month ago

      Wait until ball inflate gate

    • mickey [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 month ago

      What I’m seeing is that in imperial units, 0.8 inches increase in circumference gains you 19 feet of flight length. Saline injection fetishists are about to fffllyyyyyyyyy.

    • KuroXppi [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      1 month ago

      Just don’t pee for a while before they fit your suit

  • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 month ago

    Sailing away on my big ol’ donger.

  • Enjoyer_of_Games [comrade/them, he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 month ago

    Guy injecting his penis with acid; “if only there were an easier way to temporarily enlarge my genitalia”

    • Keld [he/him, any]@hexbear.net
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      1 month ago

      It’s not really an acid in the sense that it isn’t gonna eat through anything. It’s uhh… cell goop? Like I think “Goop” genuinely sums up its function. It forms a chunk of the extracellular matrix and kinda just lubricates or creates buffer space.

      Edit: I think you use it for treating arthritis by injecting it into joints to replace the synovial fluid and for filler. They’re basically just giving their dicks lip filler.

    • GrouchyGrouse [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 month ago

      Obviously this person never powered through the free ad reads for Blue Chew on their favorite podcast

  • Wheaties [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    1 month ago

    The shit people do for a gold medal… I get that in their social circles, it’s everything. But. It doesn’t seem all that prestigious. It’s not like the judges are gonna go “Hm, poor performance this year, nobody gets anything”. There’s always gonna be a first second and third. Like, whats the most you get out of it? An advertising deal with Nike? You’re gonna fuck up your junk just so you can be in a YouTube ad that gets skipped at the first opportunity?

    • Frogmanfromlake [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      1 month ago

      The key point is that those skippable ads are part of a larger sponsorship or brand deal, and that’s really the only way you can expect to make money in the more niche sports that don’t have a major league program backing them.

  • miz [any, any]@hexbear.net
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    1 month ago

    shit is fucked just give all the medals to Eileen Gu

    • mickey [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 month ago

      Totally forgot about her, oh man I hope she is still dominant, the malding tears of misogynists and racists will sustain me through the winter until the sun returns to us.

    • Speaker [e/em/eir]@hexbear.net
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      1 month ago

      Sure, she can ski, but how much can she inflate her penis?

  • Notcontenttobequiet [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 month ago

    New York Times headlines always read as deeply unserious and stupid to me. Like someone is reading it to me in a condescending voice.

    • plinky [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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      1 month ago

      they write for blue maga, of course they are

    • VILenin [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 month ago

      That’s the “adults in the room” style libspeak

  • D61 [any]@hexbear.net
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    1 month ago

    Embrace tradition, ret/urn to Tanuki

  • quarrk [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 month ago

    Foreskin-care routine. kelly

  • QuillcrestFalconer [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 month ago

    God just give them arm membranes like flying squirrels

  • Rojo27 [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 month ago

    You’d heard of Deflategate, now get ready for Inflategatedubois-finger-guns

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