Republican after reading news article about republicans removing a bajillion people’s voter registrations for no fucking reason:
Republican after reading news article about a hurricane: “Those liberals built an honest to goodness weather-controlling death ray and they’re using it to make hurricanes that target republicans so they have a harder time voting”
Christ almighty searching for shit on the internet is a pain in the ass now, it took me forever to find this
Serious. I never book marked anything, just did the same search when needed, but about 6 months ago everything disappeared.
TikTok started showing up en-mass in my video searches yesterday. Why TF would a search engine show something that doesn’t even work on a browser, requires an account, and is generally trash overall? Anyways, I immediately created a filter to block all TikTok results.
Money
That’s why im pumped for linkwarden
Oh, interesting.
Interesting. How is this different from raindrop.io?
For real. I started downloading comics or pics to upload later because there were times my google-fu failed me.
What the hell is dangling off the flag holder on the house? And more importantly, why is it dangling?
Lead towel.
Can’t believe how obvious it is. Am idiot.
Looks like a Texas flag. No idea why it’s dangling in what appears to be a windy field
Here’s my prediction: after Helene fucks up half of Florida, Biden will sign a high relief package for the state.
DeSantis will turn it down and let his citizens suffer for party politics
I predict he’ll take it, distribute it to his friends who do nothing for the people, and still blame Biden anyways, which his supporters will believe.
DeSantis will accept the money, then use it to cut the state’s taxes. Biden will threaten to suspend payment, on the grounds that it is misappropriation of funds. DeSantis will then insist Biden is trying to unconstitutionally raise Florida’s taxes in the wake of a lethal hurricane. He will then claim FEMA agents are trying to turn people Transgender.
You left out the part where republicans in the state blame Biden/Woke Liberals for not doing anything.
Oh, sorry, I figured that was implied!
I wish this was satire and not an accurate prediction…
Same… Same 😭
They’d do that, even if Biden showed up and threw paper towels at them in-person!
It’s always the same with red states. They bitch and moan about how every state has disasters, and how they are prepared and they shouldn’t have to pay for states where the people just
have to much melanindon’t work as hard…And then they get hammered by a hurricane, or a little bit of cold weather (looking at you Texas) and suddenly it’s “we don’t have any money left, we need to take care of each other, our fellow countrymen are suffering”. It’s be nice to find a way to just royally fuck those politicians just once…
HAARP is a research program studying the ionosphere IN ALASKA! Apparently this void-skull thinks it’s a weather machine controlling the Hurricanes in fucking Florida!?
Edit: Dug deeper into the conspiracy theories about HAARP. So many morons attribute so many powers to this fucking radio research station. Hurricanes, floods, droughts, earthquakes… it can make the sky appear to burn and control minds. It can flip the Earth’s magnetic poles. It can neutralize satellites. And it can create artificial aurora’s in the sky visible across the entire northern hemisphere. Man… conspiracy theorists think science is way cooler and more advanced than it actually is. I wish we were at that level of technology. This isn’t even a new research facility. It’s over 30 years old. We were still using VHS’s when this fucking apocalypse machine was being built. Imagine what we could do now!
If Democrats actually controlled the weather, wouldn’t they make wind turbines and solar panels way more efficient?
Duh, everyone knows wind turbines kill birds and birds are CIA drones to maintain the holographic disquises of the reptalian vegans…
Why do you think they release doves at the Olympics?!
And I really don’t think you need someone to explain how the Italian Easter Bunny is connected to solar panel. It’s 3027 for Glorgon’s sake.
/s
You can’t out logic someone who didn’t get to their current situation without giving logic a second thought.
Using Radio and Television broadcast technology that was invented more than 40 years ago.
If it ain’t broke don’t fix it and the Democrats have been controlling the weather for 40 years!!!
Apparently this void-skull thinks
Let me stop you right there. They don’t think, they just are.
Can it make my dick bigger?
hands you magnifying glass and pats your head
There you go, buddy.
Whoaa
Science has it’s limits
Conspiracy theorists are just ordinary people lying to themselves and everyone else instead of taking responsibility for their own actions. Nothing new or surprising here, just more of the same cowardly schoolyard behaviour played out at a grand scale. We give people, adults especially, way too much credit.
To me the most bizarre conspiracy theory aspect is, that they consider governments capable of large scale conspiracies. But if you’re in the mood for some more, check chemtrails theories. You won’t be disappointed.
These people see the US Government as an entity that is massive, overbearing, all-powerful, and technologically advanced beyond our imaginations. But they also think we should privatize everything because the US government is inept, overworked, impotent, and unmodernized at everything. It’s a weird dissonance they live in.
Damn looks like they better look into more thoughts and prayers.
Rather than, you know, climate change and funding that science.
Speaking of which…I really need to hit the store to stock up on those thoughts and prayers before Walmart is sold out.
Biden and The Democrats are both completely incompetent and weak, and also able to sow destruction of biblical proportions, controlling hurricanes themselves for their own selfish purposes. This has to be satire. Right?
I wonder if there ever was a politician in history who also simultaneously projected the enemy as both strong and weak at the same time…
Nah, that’s just typical conservative doublethink. The enemy has to be a credible threat to rile up the masses, but at the same time they can never win or else the cons look weak.
If the US Government was at the “stop at nothing” stage you’d find out the same way the Cherokee did.
And the Choctaw and the Chickasaw and the Seminole and the Mvskoke and the . . .
Who could have predicted Florida would get hit by a hurricane, I ask you?
Democrats: We should STOP doing things that Cause MASSIVE WEATHER PATTERNS! Republicans: That’s Socialism! Also Republicans: It’s DEMOCRATS Fault for these MASSIVE WEATHER PATTERNS!
I got this!
Grab me a Sharpie! Stat!!
This is an organized thing. The Republican party and it’s members, such as this individual, are trying to spread a conspiracy that the “deep state,” among other things, controls the weather.
This is an offshoot of Margorie Taylor Greene’s shit about Jewish space lasers, same shit as Trayon White Sr. when he said Jewish bankers controlled the weather to cause a blizzard in DC. https://www.salon.com/2022/04/14/do-jewish-bankers-control-the-weather-a-short-history-of-this-dumb-but-ugly-conspiracy-theory/
If HAARP can control hurricanes, why do we have to deal with them at all? Wouldn’t any shadow government secretly controlling the weather have a strong incentive to divert any dangerous weather away from the US? The loss of life is low enough in each hurricane that a few black ops soldiers would be far more cost effective for eliminating enemies. Show me a power hungry autocrat that is going to feel okay funding fema knowing they could have just kept those funds for other things by preventing those disasters.
Or even better, direct them at our enemies and countries we don’t like. Why hasn’t Cuba been ravaged by decades of severe hurricanes leaving the country in shambles? HAARP has been around long enough they could have destroyed dozens of enemies of the US.
It’s not like anyone could stop the US. It has the most powerful military on earth, most of the world’s nuclear weapons, veto power in the international organizations that matter, and provides defense for most of the western world. What is the shadow government waiting for?
Everything is a conspiracy theory when they don’t understand how anything works.
Why hasn’t Cuba been ravaged by decades of severe hurricanes leaving the country in shambles?
Communist counter-HAARP efforts are more advanced than the CIA would like to admit.
Hmm… it’s actually kind of fun to come up with brainless conspiracy talk
I’d recommend trying it with a real conspiracy theorist, it’s hilarious. It’s basically the improv game “yes, and…”
Relevant xkcd
Why hasn’t Cuba been ravaged by decades of severe hurricanes leaving the country in shambles?
Just sharpie the path of the hurricane towards California or something
So a research center in Alaska using 1980s TV and Radio broadcast technology is controlling the weather in the Gulf?
Would you agree 1940’s technology could destroy the planet in just a few minutes?
Sniff not at radio waves.
I think nuclear bombs and radios are different orders of magnitude in power. If nukes can’t stop or steer a hurricane, I doubt radio waves that can’t even get to the Gulf could.
Holy shit, I forgot about nuking a hurricane idea Trump had. He can’t be president again.
This was a big conspiracy theory on the right about a decade ago. Surprised to see it pop up again.
I wonder what would happen if people started regurgitating the same conspiracy theories the conservatives believe, but instead aimed those conspiracy theories at the conservatives themselves.
Blame everything on the “Shallow State operatives”, frame the existence of viruses and diseases as the conservatives’ method of population control, assert as fact that the cons are installing chem trail canisters into planes to keep us drugged, shit like that. Sure, it’s Spider-Man pointing at Spider-Man, but it could be fun to see how they react.
Calling Trump weird worked really well. Maybe some religious Democrats can claim the hurricane is god’s divine will for straying so far from biblical teachings and raising Trump as an idol.
Honestly though I think we’re all better served trying to come together against the real threat to our lives, Oligarchs living in a second gilded age.
It’s true enough that most people would only object to the hyperbolic phrasing, but conspiracy theory sounding enough to give the fantasy prone among us something useful to obsess over.
And bonus points, their power is woven into the country so profoundly we’d never agree on what to do about it. But at least we’d be all having the same conversation, which will lead to better outcomes for everyone, even the poo-brained among us. Except maybe the Musks and Bezoses of the world, they’d hate it.
Calling trump weird worked because it’s blatantly obvious. The dude is incredibly weird. But the Democrats have been afraid to use any sort of attack strategies regardless of truth, so they’ve been taking the high road while the opposition is ripping down the low road in a muscle car.
We’re never going to come together as long as the Democrat party exudes pretentiousness and superiority. There are a lot of people on the right who don’t like where the right is going, but don’t understand half of what the left is saying, and feel insulted by the stuff they do understand. The Democrats need messaging for the working class or they will never bridge that gap.
It’s damn near impossible to gain someone’s trust and loyalty by telling them that their experiences and opinions don’t matter, and the only thing they have a right to do is listen. While it’s good advice to listen when someone who has lived something you haven’t is speaking, people are going to tune out if the speaker ends the speech with “and everything you think is bullshit and doesn’t matter, so shut up”. A lot of the Democrat’s messaging is very exclusionary, while claiming to be all about inclusion.
