I need sleep
Burn the baguettes to boil water that spins a turbine that generates electricity.
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Go to bed.
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Kill me.
Nope. The world is more entertaining with you still in it.
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Firstly, this is fantastic. Did you write it?
Secondly, it’s like the hidden, secret love child of Douglas Adams and Iain Banks’ culture series, that spent weekends with a coked out Terry Pratchett, and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever read
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The human raised his implement once more towards the machinery, ready to do God knows what. As it turns out, God didn’t know what and was in-fact watching with extreme fascination.
I love this, this is my favorite line. Very Pratchett-esque.
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Care to repost to !hfy@lemmy.world?
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So basically engineers managed to even take solar power where we have steam-free power generation and insert steam into it anyway
Engineers loves taking every imaginable form of energy source and turn it into a way to drive a steam engine
All superpowers and magic can in some way be used to create perpetual energy machines.
Another way to do this without carbon would be to just summon them high up and sad they fall they spin turbines. Though you’d end up with a ton of baguettes and nothing to do with them
First drop then burn. You’re back to carbon but you double the efficiency (might not be double I’m not a psychic)
A kilogram of bread is about 2000 calories, about 9 kJ. Your body “burns” food too - probably more efficiently than you could make a steam engine for the same, but it’s about that much.
Energy from gravity is equal to mass * gravity acceleration * height. 1 kg of bread in a 9.81 m/s/s field has the same gravitational potential at “about a kilometer”.
If you’re throwing magic stake baguettes off the top of the Burj Khalifa, the energy would be about equal.
Friction (as in the atmosphere) would matter a lot in this case. Bread is low density and would have a rather low terminal velocity. Basically doesn’t matter how high you drop it from.
(until high enough that you are letting the burn part happen on the way down, but then it’s difficult to capture that energy)
True. I’d mentally envisioned it as a whole series of “bread powered water wheels” down the side of the building, with a furnace at the bottom. Nothing actually going fast enough for friction to matter. A machine that only tried to convert all the kinetic energy at the bottom would be wasteful, as you say.
Plainly, we’re going to have to put some engineering design time into the concept of this.
Oh yeah, that does make a lot more sense that way then I was thinking of. (Like having it fall a long way then hit a lever or something)
Unless the baguettes sequester Carbon when they appear, this will eventually kill most humans.
Profits were made
I assassinate people by summoning baguettes in their lungs.
We thought they would use this power to end world hunger, but it only took them 7 hours to weaponize it
Can’t be hungry if they are dead!
Breadbane the Yeastman always rises!
Enter a homeless shelter each morning. Do my thing. Walk out a richer man than I was when I walked in.
Not all gain is monetary
Croutons! I start up a crouton factory!
Croutons are what make me tingle. I mean it. I’m crou-tingly.
I eat a lot of French toast.
My kids get breakfast on demand.
Feeding the homeless.
And if you park in the bike lane with your window open, you’re getting a very crumby backseat.
I was going to go with unlimited French Toast, but as the price of chicken eggs approaches Fabergé eggs, that may not work out.
Switching to garlic bread, croutons, and
croque madamedang it!There has to be a pretty good vegan french toast recipe somewhere for inspiration on egg replacement.
You mad genius, that could work!
A quick look shows cheap and plentiful cornstarch and ground flaxseed may do the trick! I’d eat that…
I use silken tofu, corn starch (bird’s custard powder) and oat milk as the basis for bread pudding. I assume it would also work for French toast.
The custard powder sounds like a great idea.
I have never used silken tofu. I like the firm stuff, but never knew what to do with the silken.
Blending it will give you something that’s roughly the texture of a milkshake. If you cook it for a long time, you can get some liquid out to make things like egg bites, but I prefer to either use it as the basis for sauces or puddings or to strain it and break it up manually to sautee it in a tofu scramble.
The soybean is one amazing thing!
I’ve made homemade tofu a few times before, and while I can’t do it in a large enough scale to be worth it, it is absolutely delicious! Even my old hound dog would be in the kitchen drooling more than I’d ever seen her for anything else while I cooked it. It was easy, cheap, and pretty fun making it curdle, but it’s also messy, uses a lot of things to clean, and takes a bit of time.
If the ability has some range, become the weirdest assassin ever as I summon baguettes inside folks windpipes, lungs, hearts, and/or skulls.
Can you do this to all the billionaires?
If he can’t, summoning a baguette and forcefully shoving it up their noses is perfectly valid
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Become famous for producing infinite food, get shot by a religious fanatic whose beliefs don’t align with the supernatural talents you possess. That or just a corporate hit by Frito-Lays.
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If someone pulls a gun on you, then just summon a baguette into their lung…
Someone tries to shoot you? Believe it or not, baguette.
Maybe this is a cynical take, but someone in power would almost immediately have the magic infinite food person assassinated.
There are a surprising number of people who have indicated that they would use their baguette summoning powers to carry out assassinations. Here’s me thinking “damn I could honestly help out in countries that are struggling, with this power” like the simpleton I am.
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With the right (or maybe that should be “wrong”) people out of the way*, many more people will be fed than would otherwise not be. Short term goals versus long term goals.
Also, stale baguettes, while technically food, are not the most nutritious of foods. Employing the baguettes in other ways may result in better nutrition.
* I should make plain** that “out of the way” does not necessarily mean the most extreme measure. It can, but it doesn’t have to.
** Somewhat like a stale baguette.
You can do both!
Jesus’s had bread and fish powers
AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED
Sigh my Boi only had the best intentions! Chunk of Humanity is trash without good constant leadership.
I don’t use it for personal gain.
I give away infinite free bread, and get arrested and jailed forever.
Slightly stale? It does sounds like i can steam it back up and then use it to do other recipe. Make Garlic bread with it is great, or cube it then bake it until crunchy, then toss it into mushroom soup as topping.
Unless you read the prompt as the baguette will always remain slightly stale, so no matter how you attempt to freshen it up, it will still be slightly stale.
So when I eat it it will not suck up moisture at all? Which (I think) would make it indigestible.
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But that means it won’t get any more stale. Emergency baguettes for everyone!
Ah damn. They stopped the Challenge where you get 1 Million USD if you can prove you have Paranormal Powers.
Pass myself off as Jesus Christ
All good until someone expects you to do the same with wine and fish.
I’d just say something preachy and berate them for not being content and convinced with just the bread
Non alcoholic vegan Jesus lools down upon you.
No more giving money to homeless people. You get a stale baguette. Best of luck to you.
… I’d summon a few billion directly overlapping the physical space of a corrupt politician. If outdoors, in a tall column directly above, preferably several tons worth per capita.
Some choice people from this list I have would also receive a suborbital baguette infusion.
The downside is trying to deal with the stale fallout and subsequent mess the pummeled flesh and dough would leave after… Birds everywhere would go nuts.
ORBITAL BAGUETTE STRIKE!!
The cats nestle close to their kittens now.
The lambs have laid down with the sheep.
You’re cozy and warm in your bed, my dear.
Please don’t the fuck go blind by making moonshine with your daily staley.
