> be me
> have money
> like “i can get away with pedophilia” money
> can get any woman i want
> lil’ me won’t get hard
> gold digger says it’s ok, i can hear her laugh
> everyone giggles when i’m around
> hear rumors of how i was cheated by every gf and wife
> time to fix this shit
> coke’n cialis combo
> get dick surgery
> get ready for the pornstar dick, bitches!
> unlicensed medics
> forgot to tell them i was high af
> die in surgery\An autopsy later confirmed that Laniado died from cardiac hypertrophy, a condition involving an enlarged heart.
A search of his hotel room revealed he had been taking multiple substances banned in France, along with vasodilators commonly used to treat erectile dysfunction. According to judicial sources, these substances are believed to have contributed to his death.
Ah, so it had nothing to do with the procedure, dude was on a cocktail of his own drugs, didn’t tell the doctor, had a heart attack.
So, if it was anyones fault, it was the pathetic billionaires fault. Also anyone who gets rich from diamonds is always, 100%, a scumbag.
He shouldn’t have gotten the heart enlargement surgery
Ahh, cocaine and Cialis. A classic combo for cardiac catastrophe
Solid alliteration
AFAIK it’s not a dangerous combination. The cialis relieves some of the vasoconstriction from the cocaine.
It’s honestly really sad for the surgeon. Before undergoing surgery the patient must disclose everything that could make complications on the operation for a reason, a doctor does not care what crimes the patient commits and won’t have a reason to snitch, but not knowing the patient using banned substances that affect surgery could lead to life altering (and in this case outright ending it) problems.
Well, the “lead” surgeon wasn’t even licenced to practice medicine in France, so it’s kinda hard to feel bad for him
We should offer these two doctors’ services for free penis enlargements to all billionaires.
Rather than free, you should offer the most exclusive and expensive dong surgeries on earth.
You’re both half right. You offer the most exclusive expensive penis enlargement surgury for free just for them, BECAUSE they’re a billionaire.
Nothing rich assholes love more than getting expensive shit for free because of their privledge.
They want the most exclusive expensive version of things for the lowest cost. It’s fucking ridiculous bragging rights bullshit.
How I would love to offer an extremely exclusive and expensive product or service and have a billionaire approaching me trying to get it for free, to be able to say “Oh, I’m sorry, can you not afford it? We only offer this to people who have enough money to pay for it. I’m sure if you work hard, one day you’ll earn enough money to come back and give this a try!”
Nothing would hurt a fragile billionaire’s ego more than insinuating that they’re poor. Their entire lives and identities revolve around being rich and to take that away from them, even for a few seconds, would haunt them for many years to come.
*burial cost not included
Misleading headline. He died of a heart condition. They were banned because they were practicing without a license.
Even the cis female ones?
Do you want them to be bigger dicks? With bigger egos?
Since both doctors now have a history of killing their patients when providing that service, I trust you can figure out my hopeful outcome.
So the operation was a 100% succes.
The poor man died on a table with his cock cut to pieces, what a terribly unfortunate thing to happen.
Those pieces were very small, tho, like minuscule …
Micro surgery is hard
A dick lost his life
Guess this needs to be updated?
I can’t believe being a billionaire wasn’t enough for this man, he was still insecure that he felt the need to buy a bigger dick.
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but women don’t need a gorilla sized dick! They need you to eat them out! (this guy had a wife. We need to ask men if they crave gorilla dicks)
(Gorillas have tiny dicks)
Maybe it’s a dick the size of a gorilla, not the size of a gorilla’s dick.
Would you rather fight one dick the size of a gorilla, or one hundred dicks the size of a gorilla dick?
No
oh my, what’s a big dicked beast that would be better suited for this?
Reporting for duty
The dick sounds great, but the bacterium is a little offputting, I think.
Donkey, horse.
No, no… you want a penis that can really do things. You want prehensile! See cetaceans and elephants for more details.
Barnacle. Several times their body size, supposedly.
A cock the size of a barnacle. . . Nope, the phrase just doesn’t inspire shock and awe.
Think they want the whole gorilla
Just get a cod piece like respectable humans.
brutal
Not even that bigger. Enlargement surgery is highly risky (even if this guy died of a heart attack), and only promises like 2cm in additional length. Girth increases are slightly more substantial though. It sounds like he was getting the type that is just an injection of fat in the dick, which is comparatively less risky.
The risks involved are wild. A sizable amount of doctors doing enlargements have questionable standings with their local medical boards. It’s also not uncommon to find places that are very vague about what they are adding or changing about your body, while promising extreme results. Infections, loss of function, constant erection due to the addition of harder structures, decreased sensitivity are some of the more alarming, yet not uncommon risks. As it’s an elective, specialized surgery, practices are often aggressive and manipulative in dealing with clients/potential clients. Is not unheard of for places to require multiple surgeries, when it turns out there were complications with the first one.
TBF I’ve known some guys who were size queens.
being a billionaire wasn’t enough for this man
If someone is unhappy with who/what they are, no amount of money can ever fill that hole.
As if you haven’t read Great Gatsby back in school. You can’t fill the void with money, you can only escape the reality
We need to ask men if they crave gorilla dicks)
We, like you, are held to impossible physical standards.
Especially in a place where women have basically no rights.
One less, one less 🎉🎉🎉
Including the 32 billionaires that died last year, that’s just over 1% of all billionaires removed from this Earth! That’s not an insignificant number. Let’s make it even higher!
Hey Musk I got a proposition for ya
No no. You do it this way:
“Hey musk, you have a small dick”
Unfortunately, he’s probably into being humiliated like that.
Yeehaw!
Didn’t somebody already botch his dick?
Let’s tell him this new guy will fix it
musk had his mangled by a “surgeon”
Ohhhh, botched dick!! botched that one! That’s a botch job!
You think these needledicks would learn from Elons botched surgery.
Kanye’s mom has entered the chat.
I missed both those references.
Elon Musk had a similar surgery and it left his penis mangled and useless, he now breeds his progeny by artificial insemination.
Kanye’s mother died getting the fat sucked out of her.
Number one. Steady hand. One day, billionaire need big penis. I do operation. But mistake! Billionaire die! Capitalists very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life.
My big secret. I kill billionaire on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
I came here for this.
It’s the first thing I thought of when I read the headline.
Let this be an example to every surgeon out there that if a billionaire patient dies during or after a surgery:
It can’t simply be a statistical death, their trusts will have investigators digging through your trash for years and feeding a team of laywers to find the slightest excuse to end your career even if they die because they were taking party drugs and weren’t honest with you.
Its best to just refuse doing surgery on a billionaire.
Or, and hear me out, take one for society like these heroes did.
“Sign here. . . and here. . . Now flop it out on the table. . . Nurse, hand me the claw hammer. . .”
Dude killed himself by not disclosing boner pillsand the surgeons were “practicing medicine without a license” for the place they working in (though they were as qualified as most surgeons) From the article
Now this is a feel good story
Lol. Lmao. Dude had billions of dollars and fucken died cause he wanted a bigger dick.
To all the kids out there: accept who you are. Love yourself. Be genuine.
To all the billionaires out there, keep getting shady, life-threatening surgeries.
To all the billionaires out there: people will never respect you until you have 2 kg of dick. Go show them who’s boss!
people will never respect you until you have 2 kg of dick.
… that’s an integrated part of your body and in the form of a single dick looking appendage.
We don’t want buckets of dick strewn around, nor random dicks attached to the torso.
Oooooh…. Shit…. Could have used this information yesterday….
If you are in the buckets category, then pls don’t make us accessories to your crimes.
If you have attached dicks to your torso, then don’t worry, you’ll still get what you can interpret as deference from people. It won’t be, but it’ll seem like respect.
I’ve just got the bucket going at the moment, but if you think sticking them on will get me out of legal trouble then I’ll get to gluing them to myself. Gonna be a long day.
Also: you totally do know everything there is to know about deep sea submarines
Invite your friends!
Its not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean!
I’ve never liked this metaphor because when you are sailing you have no control of the ocean. Yes, I am autistic.
I never liked it and I only used it now.
Yes I am autistic, too.
I think, you are not supposed to control your partner, unless you have a really good safeword.
Belgian-Israeli businessman Ehud Arye Laniado, founder of Omega Diamonds, suffered a fatal heart attack while undergoing injections intended to enlarge his penis.
…
However, prosecutors later downgraded the charges to failure to assist a person in danger, drug-related offences, and practising medicine without a licence.
Call me paranoid, but I’d like anyone giving me penis injections to be licensed to practice medicine.
You sound like the brainwashed masses. He, a billionaire, was much more qualified to determine if someone is fit to practice medicine than some institutional board. Obviously, otherwise he wouldn’t have been a billionaire.
Or the Oceangate ethos: They’re are too many unnecessary rules in medicine! Controlled experiments to test new drugs are just slowing down innovation!
Just wait until someone does this with a gene drive
Not me. I want one who’s finished with practicing and ready for the big show. That’s why I only use doctors who are no longer “practicing.” Cuz I’m not a fucken idiot.
Keep reading.
I wonder if this is a benefit to having health insurance: my insurance presumedly vets doctors in their network, so I’d have a hard time going to anyone unlicensed.
On the other hand, if I got penis enhancement surgery my insurance wouldn’t cover it anyway, so I’d probably not care if they were out of network.
Socialized medicine also vets the doctors they have on payroll. Extra bonus: their vetting process doesn’t involve a willingness to fuck patients over for extra cash.
Also, regardless of who pays, always check the doctor’s credentials and more importantly their online reviews - there are a lot of crappy doctors that are acting perfectly legally.
That makes sense. I wasn’t thinking American-style health insurance vs socialized medicine, I was thinking American-style health insurance vs self pay.
Extra bonus: their vetting process doesn’t involve a willingness to fuck patients over for extra cash.
Funny when here in Belgium, the government put a couple decades ago a cap on the number of doctors who were allowed to graduate medical school (numerus clausus). The goal is to reduce the number of doctors to pay for (with the support of existing doctors who want less competition).
The predictable result of artificial scarcity? I live a major city and if I want an appointment with any specialist it’s a 6+ months delay or a 1-2 months if you can justify a daytrip to Brussels. This is having real tangible impacts on quality of care.
Obviously I would not trade my healthcare system for the American one but let’s not pretend that money and greed aren’t factors.
