These people don’t even read their own literature. The Catholic church’s ban on alchemy is about falsely claiming something is a valuable metal in order to pay for debts. It has nothing to do with the occult – the ban was because it’s a sin to lie / cheat / steal. A saint is even on record saying that alchemical gold is ok if the end if product is real gold.
With that context, of course God doesn’t give a shit if you use SQLAlchemy as long as you aren’t using it to defraud people. If you were defrauding people, it wouldn’t matter what tool you used.
.
I’m shocked that a person who thinks the name of a piece of software can harm them doesn’t understand their own religion.
I mean, these are the same people who won’t watch Big Bang Theory because the title is heretical, or believe that playing Magic the Gathering or Pokemon TCG are literally summoning demons and spirits into the world, or who believe that playing D&D is doing the same. Rationality is not exactly their strong suit.
I mean they did ‘read a book’ and it became the real world to them
Lol, yeah, that is exactly how The Bible works for them.
Yeah they should not watch Big Bang theory for the same reasons as the rest of us. …Because of the shitty writing.
Now of course one could make some damning argument about the state of the tech industry in practice, resulting in one of those bell curve memes with “using SQLalchemy is a sin” on both far sides and “noooo it’s just a name it’s fine there’s no fraud involved” in the middle
If you were defrauding people, it wouldn’t matter what tool you used.
Stays silent while coding the JezuzLovezU worm…
Jesus, he knows me, and he knows I’m right
Jesus us my…
Clippy
Well, god generally doesn’t give a shit at all if he exists, so there’s that.
God would have to exist to give any shits at all
And here i thought they banned alchemy because they learned from a copper trader.
Better not tell them about daemons I guess.
From the title of the screenshot I was sure it was going to be about daemons.
Or about the D.E.V.I.L.S. format listing option on ffmpeg
Or FreeBSDs mascot
Just wait until they learn about Daemons
And killing children.
Master/slave systems are probably a-ok for them though.
The only reason killing children is bad in their view would be if the child is unborn/not spawned already or if they want to abuse it but can’t anymore.
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That’s actually sacred.
They’d probably be fine with that as long as they’re not unborn
Would deleting an executable file without running it be equivalent to an abortion? Or is it more like contraception? Either way some religions ban both of those
And detaching/reattaching git heads.
I don’t see how the term “Alchemy” is any different than “Transubstantiation”, and the Catholic Church seems pretty down with that.
Imagine living your entire life with this kind of fear. Religion does crazy things to people’s minds.
You say that and yet… APIs and XML-RPC are essentially the same thing. But APIs don’t make me wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat.
You… You shut your whore mouth. We don’t talk about xml here
Go wash your mouth with some SOAP.
Actually scary
In all these replies, this one actually made me wince in pain. I guess I had cleared the term AJAX from my memories.
Next thing you know, there’s JSON wielding a machete right behind you
Yo dawg, I heard you like HTTP and XML, so I put XML in your HTTP in your XML over HTTP.
That brought up some memories…
We could form a support group. Maybe the least healthy support group in history, but a support gro up.
Oh, sorry. I created a misunderstanding it seems. I was referring to actual soap, not SOAP. I can still hear dad telling me to go wash my mouth with soap.
Yeah. I consider it important to maintain a healthy agnosticism about the possibility of heaven. It’s dangerous to wait to start living as the person I want to be!
But on the topic of hell - well, I’ve needed to make two computers talk to eachother using the XML specification. I know that hell is very real.
it’s a severe mental illness brought on by trauma and people act like it’s the most normal thing ever :/
Looking at the comments in that thread, people seem to agree that the question is silly
Not exclusive to religions.
“Is xy considered vegan?”
That pattern. Wanting to belong to something bigger i guess?
Is Alchemy even religious? Or is just anything spiritual scary to them?
Import SQLTransubstantiation
is a lot of work for python coders.
Yet they say “Easter Eggs”, referring to a Pagan tradition. As hypocritical as it gets.
They celebrate christmas, a pagan tradition they literally stole, the whole thing is fucking clownshoes
And yet they shit on Halloween
Nah, that’s OK 'cuz they forked the tradition
My favorite thing about the “easter egg” he specifically mentions is that Alembics are still used in chemistry to this day. They are just a way to condense vaporized gasses and collect them.
I mean, the largest denomination of Christianity ^(Catholicism) is overrun with pedophiles. The whole thing is obviously bullshit.
The user shouldn’t code in Python. That’s a fucking serpent. It caused Eve to eat the apple. Original sin. Holy shit, the most popular coding language is from the fucking devil! Mask off, mind blown, what the eff.
On that note, I sure hope he doesn’t uses any Apple products either.
TL;DR The fruit of the tree of knowledge being a literal apple is non-canon, being entirely based on a pun.
The word “apple” is not used in the Bible, that is, unless the Bible in question is a translation that specifically uses that word. Even then, see below.
The whole apple thing comes from:
- the fact that the word for “apple” can be used as a synonym for “(any) fruit” in some languages and context, and so could mean any fruit.
Think about French pomme de terre for “potato” which is literally “apple (meaning ‘fruit’) of the earth”. Dutch has aardappel (earth apple) which is the same thing. Fun fact: Old English eorþæppel (earth apple) allegedly meant “cucumber”. Go figure. But I digress.
- Latin is the main ecclesiastical language for one particularly influential branch of Christianity and one word for apple in Latin is “malus”. That sounds like a lot of unrelated Latin words that start “mal-” that mean bad or evil, thus an apparent connection to the fruit of the tree of knowledge also leading to evil.
(I mean, it might actually be a proto-apple of some sort (modern apples did not exist 7000 years ago or whenever it was supposed to be) but the Bible doesn’t specify.
Some scholars think that the whole thing developed out of metaphor for abandoning a hunter-gatherer lifestyle for farming. Others think that it might be a reference to beer / alcohol, which is one of the first things humans got interested in after farming.)
Latin also used apple as a stand-in for generic fruit, cf. malum persicum (“Persian apple”) meaning peach.
And, fun fact, the English word “pineapple” was originally synonymous with “pinecone” (i.e. the fruit of the pine tree).
I mean, that Apple logo has a bite out of it. Eve’s bite! And it ships with Python!
Someone call the Inquisition!
I was genuinely taught by my churh not to use apple products for this exact reason. The youth leaders went on a whole tangent about the symbolism. They thought Apple, the company, was trying to trick us all into satanism.
It was a little bit like that video of the lady preaching about Monster energy drinks. Oh, and you better believe they showed us all that video unironically.
But c’mon, at least Monster is supposed to be edgy. Apple is literally just an apple. Insanity, I tell you
Well I’m pretty sure that is the symbolism they were using, and either implying it gives your freedom or knowledge, I assume the former. It’s a pretty good symbol if you agree that eating the theoretical apple is actually a good thing.
That’s a cool way to look at it! I got curious so I looked it up, and I found an interview with the guy who designed the logo, and he said it’s a myth.
Of course, I’ll add that there might be more to the story than that. IIRC the name was chosen before the logo, so this doesn’t rule out that the name itself was a reference to the bible story. Also, if it was, I kinda doubt that Apple would openly confirm it now, knowing it could cause them to lose some of their customers. 🤷
Isn’t the story, nobody came up with a good name for the company and Steve Jobs said you have x days to come up with a name I like, or I just call it Apple? And they didn’t?
Python is actually named after Monty Python’s Flying Circus, so it isn’t a serpent. It is so much worse.
The python in monty python does refer to the snake.
it doesn’t refer to anything, they picked a silly name they were confident no real person had.
Snakes are inherently evil! Don’t even LOOK at one or breathe an oxygen atom that’s ever touched the tongue of a snake!
#SayingTheQuietPartOutLoud
Computer programmers are the devil.
They do some sorcery
This is the kind of person who would stick to IDE (with master and slave disks ofc) because S-ATA is only an N away from eternal damnation
… My initial thought was Santa, not Satan …
Ho ho ho 😈
Can we get a Santa v Satan boxing movie?
Didn’t trey parker & matt stone already do that?
I guess that was Jesus vs Santa Claus…
Honestly, I think it has already been made. I could have sworn there was a Krampus movie that cast Santa as some sort of jolly ass-kicking Chad who came in to save the day. Krampus being the Satan stand in in this case.
It do be the holiday season.
Church lady has entered the chat…
I just skimmed this but shouldn’t people who are unable/ubwilling to live in the modern world be true to themselves and also not code in some demonic language?
Just skip it and piss off dear catholic
Wait until they learn about daemons
Even the real daemons are just spirits it’s the Christians who literally demonized them.
The idiocy goes back more than a millenium.
If Christians are idiots then so are the “pagans”, religion is religion. Don’t defend one because you hate another.
it’s easier to find obvious faults when something is held close for examination. Shoving this one in our faces has given us greater opportunity for close study. Other brands of hokum may include an actual space ship to rocket the most a faithful away or a con man who this one final time miraculously went straight, rituals with one rolled pant-leg, or alien spirits living in volcanoes. But we don’t talk about them so much as they keep their weirdness in the shadows.
Aight I recognize most of those, who’s the pant leg?
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Exactly
No not really, Christianity is full of contradictions that cannot be reconciled and has a hard line book they must follow (filled with said contradictions). Paganism, as a belief structure, was essentially buried so individuals are working of off their own ideas that can be as varied as the practitioners (afaik, I’m not a neo pagan). Christianity isn’t bad because you have to believe on something, no matter what the reddit atheist will tell you, it’s bad because of what you have to believe.
I’m sure all those sites of human sacrifice and other barbarity don’t really exist and were really those evil Christians. Neopagans are aping religions that were rarely peaceful, I mean how many war gods did the Norse peoples alone have?
So, you a reddit atheist or an idiot?
Agnostic more or less, I just despise unfair double standards
I had a crazy Catholic prepper neighbor way back in '99 (she was the hipster of preppers, one of the things she railed about was all the people prepping just for y2k when she had already been doing it for years, but that’s another story) and one of her things was how evil bill gates was- so I told her Linux was evil-er because of the daemons. Gave her a lot to think about.
Does that command refer to the His Dark Materials thing? I thought regular demons were spelt without the a, but maybe it’s an old spelling.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daemon_(computing)
The term was coined by the programmers at MIT’s Project MAC. According to Fernando J. Corbató, who worked on Project MAC in 1963, his team was the first to use the term daemon, inspired by Maxwell’s demon, an imaginary agent in physics and thermodynamics that helped to sort molecules, stating, “We fancifully began to use the word daemon to describe background processes that worked tirelessly to perform system chores”.[2] Unix systems inherited this terminology. Maxwell’s demon is consistent with Greek mythology’s interpretation of a daemon as a supernatural being working in the background.
Poor Mormons can’t use Java.
They should not be using Python. Or anything from Apple. Remember the original sin!
And Powersh***, of course, and this thing because of the C-word.
What I heard was that they can have cold but not hot caffeine. Does that mean they can use Java only on well cooled computers? Or does java refer to a specific kind of coffee (that is not cold)? Well apparently Java is an island in Indonesia where Java coffee is grown. That would mean that Java could be cold brew and that they can so long as their computer is cool enough for it not to be considered hot. The exact definition of hot is tricky, though cold brew is typically served at refrigerated temperatures which would mean the computer would need sub-ambient cooling.
Tldr: they need a computer with sub-ambient cooling.
Or maybe it means they can’t use a JVM with hot-reloading? Java is fine but JIT with Java is sinful?
JVM warm-ups are a no-no, too.
🤣
Nor can we host our projects on gittea, or run windows apps in WINE
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It must be exhausting to go through life saddled with so much mental bullshit.
Not surprising considering Catholicism scores quite high on the BITE model for cults.
The thing about mental bullshit is that it’s invisible to the person who’s got it.
So look in the mirror now and then.
If it was invisible then they wouldn’t be asking this question
Look in the mirror for something invisible?
import SQLAlchemy as SQLJesus
Problem solved
That’s taking the LORD’s name in vain which, according to Catholicism, is considered blasphemy which is literally THE single worst type of sin you can commit. See you in the 9th circle!
is it? I checked the dictionary and it doesn’t seem like they’re doing anything in vain. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/vain
- having or showing undue or excessive pride in one’s appearance or achievements : conceited
it’s literally the opposite of pride. they’re using his name to hide something they’re ashamed of
- marked by futility or ineffectualness : unsuccessful, useless vain efforts to escape
also the opposite, they’re trying to use his name in an effective manner to solve a problem
- having no real value : idle, worthless vain pretensions
same as the previous, it would have a worth to them
- archaic : foolish, silly
again, they’re using it for schoolwork, which is educated, not foolish
Not religious nor an expert on this, but as far as I know:
“Taking the Lord’s Name in Vain” is the technical term in Christianity for using words that refer to God/Jesus in any context that isn’t directly referring to them, which is considered a form of blasphemy. The majority of Christians, Catholics especially, believe that even expressions like “oh my god!” or exclaiming “Jesus!” when surprised constitute taking the Lord’s name in vain, or as is what is happening here, where you use Jesus for something unrelated to him. And the bible does make it very clear that blasphemy is worse than literally any other sin.
I think there are more rules, too. I think you’re not allowed to swear (wherever that comes from). And there are restrictions/superstitions(?) put on other names. I don’t think christians speak out Satan / Beelzebub. Probably because calling their name conjures a deamon or people said names have some power to them.
more like SQLCrusader
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I’m super Catholic and I approve this message.
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Alchemy isn’t even a strictly occult thing. It was something done in the medieval era that was basically a very early form of science before most of the things they were trying to do were considered impossible
If Jesus really turned water into wine then what would you call that if not alchemy?
That was just good BYOB manners.
I mean alchemy is an occult practice. It’s just history only pays attention to the physical aspects (turning things into gold, etc). Often times the medium to turn a substance into gold is called the philosophers stone
But this is only a portion of it. The philosophers stone in alchemy is actually spiritual enlightenment or becoming one with everything. Hence the concept of turning anything into gold, gold being enlightenment and the universe and the plain material before the transformation is preenlightened individuals. They all become the same (one, gold) after attaining it.
Most alchemical philosophy is occult/spiritual and the chemistry aspects are a metaphor for the evolution of the soul.
I think because modernity is mostly materialist in its philosophy that we ignore the underlying spirituality associated with alchemy
“science”… That’s just a road to hell with extra steps.
And, to the extent that it was occult, it was typically biblical occultism. There was a big emphasis on the wisdom of Solomon in particular.
The church did frown upon it at the time, if I recall. For example, Newton spent years on alchemy yet that’s forgotten
Glad he didn’t overdose on alchemy
I used to have an rpg on steam, with “fantasy” in the name. One day someone sent me an email asking if there was any way to remove all references to magic from the game so they could play it, as having witches and stuff was a big no for them, but they still wanted to try the game.
I remember when Bioshock Infinite came out, a few weirdos were demanding refunds because in the first 10 minutes of the game, a scene with a bunch of cultists requires you to click a button to “Accept Baptism” from them. They were refusing to push the button on religious grounds, and so they soft locked themselves out of playing the rest of the game. Smh.
Add a “refuse” button that pops up a short text box detailing the consequences. The End, credits roll. Problem solved, now they can all go explain to everyone on the forums why this is the best ending
Kinda reminds me of far cry 5 Where you can finish the game in 5 minutes by not arresting the preacher and just afking
They also had that in Fc4. If you don’t run away, eventually the dictator comes back and takes you to spread your mother’s ashes, and later takes your on a helicopter tour to shoot guns and stuff. Credits roll.
Man I’m still salty about the real ending, I think the 5 min ending might be preferable (not really, again, just salty).
Isn’t the whole point of the series to highlight the way games give you only an illusion of freedom and are instead railroading you all the time? That option would go against the whole philosophy of the game.
Reminds me of Alundra on the PS1, where at some point the game forced you to accept praying in a church; I tried to reject it but the game wouldn’t let me. It ended up being plot relevant in the end, as
spoiler
you prayed to some demon or something and that allowed him to enter your dreams or something like that, I don’t remember too well)
I hope you sent them a 0kb game.exe with the tagline “here u go mate, god bless”
If you’re under a very tight constraint, you could send 'em .kkrieger in just under 100kb
I would immediately patch in a “no witches” mode.
Every instance of “witch” is replaced with “warlock”.
And if there were graphics, every witch would have a photorealistic penis hanging out the front of
herhis robes.Sure fam, unchecks “Magic, Witches and stuff”.
Then they can interact with peasant NPCs all day long.
Hello there, stranger! I seem to have misplaced my ring! You look gullible enough that I can trick you into looking for it for me, because I am too lazy to do it myself!
You know, it would be really nice if some of them actually knew what that book was talking about sometimes. From my understanding the Bible describes and condemns witchcraft as making deals with evil for power, and basically uses it as condemnation of thinking that the ends can ever justify the means by taking things to the logical extreme.
In most modern settings at least, magic is either an inerhant trait, lots of carful study, or a bargain with a benign spirit of some variety.
There’s is admittedly a long history of people missing the point of this, most of which stated by an utter loon trying to get back at is ex. The people at the time utterly ignored medieval Karen, but this drove him to rant a lot in writings which then got used as a source by latter assholes to justify gojng after the people they wanted to get back at.
All of which ignores the obvious of course, which is to say the Bible doesn’t say you can’t experience story’s about sin in the first place.
Isn’t almost all of the Bible (as in everything leading up to Jesus and then also most of the reality Jesus encountered) a story about sin?
And near incest, and killing, and more killing, and shit going down, god getting angry and killing people, and some other stuff.
And OP talks about Alchemy, which commonly uses the energy that different materials have inherently to create magical artifacts.
It’s literally using what God already created.
This person is really gonna hate my new web framework “I submit to the horned lord, Lucifer, the light bringer and ruler of this world. All hail Satan.”
I think it’s gonna be big since it’s the only web framework for Malbolge.
I don’t understand how you wrote a framework in Malbolge, but chances are good that you don’t either.
Lucifer and Satan aren’t the same entity.
These are titles not names
It’s OK. I’m making a joke, not calling the corners… Though I guess this could be sort of a ward for a software community, but I think it wouldn’t have to be any kind of accurate to work given the entity it’s keeping out.
Depends on how you interpret the Golden Age text. But you’re correct that the former is the light bringer and the latter is adversary/legal opponent.
But the silver age crap messed with that canon.
My head canon is that Lucifer was a member of the Q Continuum while Satan was a misunderstood Time Lord.
The Pope needs to have a sit-down with the folks at Disney to learn how to properly manage a shared imaginary universe.
Bro, you’re not in high school anymore. No one is impressed that you threw a fit when Mom took you to church that one time.
Also I wouldn’t get Disney’s help for a shared imaginary universe, considering the Marvel Cinematic Universe was cool, but it’s been going on too long, none of the shows are any good.
It really should have ended it end game, because it just feels like every movie now is just build up for a different thing, and the only part of it anyone cares about anymore is what Spider-Man meme are they going to do?
I was sexually assaulted multiple times at multiple churches.
Fuck you and fuck your trivializing.