Figures that the safest men to be stuck with aren’t human men.
Not if yer a fucken orc!
I tried to come up with a counter argument and realized pretty quickly that I didn’t want to.
What’s the counter-argument ? Let’s hear it
I mean, they’re objectively correct.
I don’t know; can you name three bears that women would feel safer with?
Barenstain?
I’d choose: Boromir, Ned Stark, and Sean Bean.
No way anything bad can happen to me with those magnets around.
The whole elevator would just crash through the foundation. You’d be collateral when Death gets a 3 for 1 final destination style.
Is the elevator spacious?
Arnold’s got a decent number of allegations against him, but Andre would protect you so I guess it’s honestly a freebie for the other two if he’s in the mix.
Somewhat related: that’s a dream blunt rotation right there
I feel like Gimli would hog it, Aragorn would obviously be awesome, and Legolas would be chill but you could tell he’s thinking your weed sucks, he’s got a much better connection.
Gimli, it’s a blunt, not a microphone
The fact that they had to go to fictional characters is significant.
To be fair, being fictional means they’re significantly less dimensional than real people and are incapable of holding secrets.
I mean there are real people I feel absolutely safe around, but they’re just normal people I know and have built trust with. There are no famous people I can say the same for because I don’t know them personally, even if they seem good on the surface. And for fictional characters like these, we “know” Aragorn is safe because he’s written to be benevolent, we’ve read his entire life, and the author’s dead so there’s no possibility for new material to change that perception.
LotR should have started becoming public domain in America in 2023 btw
We’re in the LOTR community, the sample may be a little biased
Yes, but the person who responded to the question wasn’t in a LOTR community.
All the other people who answered weren’t posted here
I know, I’m just referring to this particular person’s response.
Good point!
Okay, real world examples from me (notably, a big dude, so y’know, probably not as in tune to things as I could be):
Bernie Sanders My brother My Uncle
… I… Really thought I’d have better options until I really started thinking about it
also that 2 of them aren’t men
I would take “men” to just mean “male people,” since it’s not being asked in the context of a fantasy world.
So ackshually…
Aragorn was descended from Elros who was a half-elf, but that was so long ago he may or may not be a full man depending on how racist one is about miscegenation.
Legolas was an elf and Gimli was a dwarf, so explicitly not Men.
How about Eomer and Faramir instead?
Boromir would’ve made them feel safer.
Faramir didn’t try to take the Ring from Frodo, unlike Boromir.
Elros and Elrond had a choice as to become Eldar or Edain. Elrond chose Eldar, while Elros chose Edain. Once they chose their mixed nature was resolved.
Not exactly, since the Númenóreans still had longer lives than Men due to their elven heritage. So while one could absolutely make the argument they were Men, there’s also a case to be made saying they weren’t pureblooded Men.
Men as in males, yes.
Men as in humans, mostly no
Everywhere they went people were getting kidnapped, orcs were invading, trees were coming to life, and the dead were rising. Id want to be far away from that elevator.
Yeah that’s as safe as being a marine hanging with the master chief.
You take that back, I protect my marines while playing!
You know… As much as possible while charging headfirst into the most powerful empire the galaxy has seen in 100,000 years hell bent on destroying humanity and all we represent…
Let’s not talk about Truth and Reconciliation lol
Look bro, I just handed you an entire SPNKR rocket launcher and a Scorpion jump seat, whatever you do with those afterward is no longer my concern. I’m busy driving.
You know for a fact that they’ll literally coming charging across the countryside to rescue you though
Not much countryside for the charging in most elevators, though 🤔
They probably wouldn’t be that familiar with the workings of a lift either
Only one of them.
But Legolas could poke out the ceiling panel with the tip of his bow and Aragorn could boost Gimli up with a rope.
Christopher Reeves, Stephen Hawking, Teddy Pendergrass
Mr Rogers, Bob Ross, Steve Irwin
i mean, i guess i’d feel safe, but probably not super comfortable, given that they are all three very dead.
If they’re dead and in the elevator, are they still in wheelchairs?
Idk about Stephen Hawking
Let’s be real. We’re all NPCs so if any of the men are from something with action, we’ll probably end up dead. My pick would be Bob Ross, Mr. Rogers, and Steve Irwin. Super calming and chill
Steve was an amazing person but I wouldn’t describe him as chill.
He was pure overwhelming enthusiastic energy.
Fair point. Well, he’ll balance out the other two then. It’ll be like drugs (I assume), two downers and one upper
“Speed into one nostril, coke into the other”-energy
I’d also go for Data, Riker, and LaForge.
Now roll for shirt color.
Ehhh debatable if Data is a “man”, and LaForge… well, he wouldn’t be on my list. My picks from TNG to share a turbolift would would be Picard, O’Brien and Riker. Picard would be either ruminating on some deep crisis or current drama and be quiet and majestic. O’Brien would be preoccupied and anxious about some project and trying to build up the courage to talk to the senior officers about it. Riker would be relaxed, polite and crack a joke that would make you chuckle.
If counting non-human male characters across ST, then Data, Odo and Spock.
non-zero chance Riker tries to flirt with you
Sure but he would handle rejection well and laugh it off. Riker, afaicr, respected signals and consent. He flirted with people who seemed open to it and was perfectly professional to those who weren’t. What makes flirting feel unsafe is the threat of men taking it badly if rejected.
Riker also had sex with a genderless individual and tried to defend their rights until they told him to stop. He defended himself from a false rape accusation. There was that one incident where his sexual shenanigans on Risa led to everyone but two children being addicted to a mind control game.
The most questionable sexual encounter was Tasha and Data.
I mean… No Worf? I feel like he’d be the safest choice together with Data
Eh, he can have a temper, I know it doesn’t necessarily come up day to day but when he’s pissed he doesn’t always contain his anger. He’s safer than a lot of people but no he doesn’t make my top three. My runner up for top three male non-humans was actually Garak.
He’s a cutie! What temper?
I’ll choose chaos. Picard, Riker, and Q.
I feel like you’d have more chaos with Picard, Martok, and Q
You need O’Brien to act as a lightning rod for any misfortune.
Please… No more…
I didn’t realize there was a Miles O’Brien floating around on Lemmy!
We’re friends now. Just accept it.
LaForge is occasionally kinda creepy…
Oopsie poopsie, you got Lore!
Also the other Riker…
And Geordi has gotten fixated on your engineering skills…
Thomas Riker was alright, it’s not like he’s from the mirror universe
I’ll take Thomas Riker any day over Ensign Picard.
Riker?
He’s charismatic and playfully flirty but receptive to signals and a good communicator. He wouldn’t do anything untoward without consent.
Sure, but you’d still come out of the elevator pregnant.
But that would happen completely consensual.
Yeah, but it might be inconvenient if you weren’t planning to become pregnant. Your husband or wife might be upset too.
I hardly even know ‘er!
Luke, Han, and R2D2.
I don’t know about feeling “safe” with Han, but unsafe in a good way. Like I trust him but not myself. Artoo could probably plug in and fix the elevator, too.
Not Obi-wan?
What about that boy, what was his name? Anie i think. He seems innocent enough.
On one hand, he’s the negociator. On the other hand he’s the hand and legs taker. (Whether or not you want him in the elevator, depends on the hand he chooses to take.)
I’m old school. He didn’t make it out of the first movie.
If I grew up with prequels, then yeah. Chewie as well if I could fit a fourth.
That’s a good combo too.
Harvey Specter, Mike Ross, and Louis Litt.
first 3 celebridudes that popped into my head:
Tom Hanks, Keannu Reaves, and Willie Nelson.
You are NOT safe from Willie. He will get you SOOO high.
exactly why he’s on the list. I’m secretly trying to get to Hanks that high so he can laugh like he did in money pit.
Hanks would probably try to pee on your feet if you got him that high.
Devious…
Also, Patrick Stewart.
totally could get down or up (elevator joke) with sirpatstew
